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Section 2 - Replacement Responses to Actions that Do Nothing

[One of the unusual qualities of this game is the fact that the player is a parrot, so we need to systematically replace default library answers that would be inappropriate, and supply ones that work more effectively with the current scenario.]

Instead of taking inventory:

say "You are holding onto your perch with both claws."

Instead of going nowhere: say "You can't escape your perch.".

Instead of buying something: say "Commerce is beneath you."

Instead of kissing someone: say "Alas, you have no lips."

Instead of singing: say "You're not one of those intolerable songbirds."

Instead of listening: say "You keep your beak shut and attend to the conversation."

Instead of jumping: say "You hop gracefully down to the other end of the perch."

Understand "flap" or "flap wings" as waving hands.

Instead of waving or waving hands: say "You flap one wing uselessly."

Instead of climbing: say "You have already reached the most comfortable position in the room."

Instead of thinking:

say "Related ideas flit through your brain: [list of subjects suggested by the current subject]."

Instead of drinking: say "Sadly, no one has thought to provide you with your water dish."

Instead of tying something to something: say "An activity too complicated for you to manipulate yourself."

Instead of sleeping: say "You have had a full eighteen hours of sleep, and are refreshed at the moment."

Instead of waking up: say "You are fully alert."

Instead of burning or cutting something: say "You leave these sorts of tool-wielding behavior to the descendants of primates."

Instead of tasting or eating the player: say "Ah, the urban air has begun to unravel your wits." Instead of tasting or eating something: say "[The noun] does not look like it is made of candied almond, so there's no point."